Author Archives: erineph

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.

Medium

You know how I don’t write much here anymore, to the point where I honestly just struggled over whether to type “write” or “right,” and that’s something I’ve never done, not even when I was first learning how to put … Continue reading

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Home Is Where It Isn’t Anymore

My father called a couple of weeks ago. It was in the evening and after a particularly hellacious day, so I was already ¾’s high and in no mood to coherently speak to my father or listen to him read … Continue reading

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The Rush of the Eurotrash Hesher

Some people get a rush out of stealing. Others, gambling. Others, punching people in the face in a secret underground gathering full of white males who are upset that their millennia-old power structure seems to be crumbling on a microscopic … Continue reading

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When Life Gives You Lemons

It’s said that if you want to be a writer, then you need to read writing that is good. I suppose that if you want to write a blog, you should read blogs that are good, but this is assuming … Continue reading

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A Confession

About four years ago, I was working for a corporation that everyone in my city thought of as the golden ticket of employment. People would ask where I worked and, when I told them, would reply “how did you get … Continue reading

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Home and Far Away

The thing about being essentially homebound to recover from abdominal surgery is that eventually, even if you think you’re a champion recluse who never needs to leave the house, you will get terrifically bored and start to act out in … Continue reading

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BUT THERE’S FREE FOOD

Have you read that open letter to Yelp’s CEO, written by a 25-year-old CSR at the company? Okay fine this was like 2 weeks ago, but I have been concerned with recovering from organ removal so excuuuuuse me. Anyway, I … Continue reading

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