Author Archives: erineph

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.


You know how I don’t write much here anymore, to the point where I honestly just struggled over whether to type “write” or “right,” and that’s something I’ve never done, not even when I was first learning how to put … Continue reading

Posted in The Internet is My Boyfriend, Writing

Home Is Where It Isn’t Anymore

My father called a couple of weeks ago. It was in the evening and after a particularly hellacious day, so I was already ¾’s high and in no mood to coherently speak to my father or listen to him read … Continue reading

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The Rush of the Eurotrash Hesher

Some people get a rush out of stealing. Others, gambling. Others, punching people in the face in a secret underground gathering full of white males who are upset that their millennia-old power structure seems to be crumbling on a microscopic … Continue reading

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When Life Gives You Lemons

It’s said that if you want to be a writer, then you need to read writing that is good. I suppose that if you want to write a blog, you should read blogs that are good, but this is assuming … Continue reading

Posted in Writing

A Confession

About four years ago, I was working for a corporation that everyone in my city thought of as the golden ticket of employment. People would ask where I worked and, when I told them, would reply “how did you get … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Paychecks Are Important | Tagged , ,

Home and Far Away

The thing about being essentially homebound to recover from abdominal surgery is that eventually, even if you think you’re a champion recluse who never needs to leave the house, you will get terrifically bored and start to act out in … Continue reading

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Have you read that open letter to Yelp’s CEO, written by a 25-year-old CSR at the company? Okay fine this was like 2 weeks ago, but I have been concerned with recovering from organ removal so excuuuuuse me. Anyway, I … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't, Paychecks Are Important | Tagged ,