The Attack of Garbage Mouth, Part 2

I realized that it’s been a few days since I last posted anything here, but I hadn’t noticed before because I CAN EAT SOLID FOOD AGAIN and that’s all I really care about.

It’s not a big deal to some people, but if I’m stuck consuming only liquids for three days, shit goes downhill real fucking quick. By the third day, the chicken broth that had tasted like liquid gold days before begins to take on a funky, metallic-tasting quality, and I decide to get a little risky by smooshing a tiny piece of Wonder bread between my fingers and pushing it down my throat from the other, non-wounded side of my mouth. Great for dieting, but bad for having to take a shit eventually.

After I learned that I could (slowly, carefully, still nothing pointy or crunchy) eat last night, I decided to go grocery shopping and get a few chores done. Unfortunately, I had to pass on Courtney’s invitation to a party thrown by the apparent doyenne of the West Seattle social scene, and I’m saying that without any trace of sarcasm. So while other people were hanging out and being social, I was in bed at midnight and reading a book about linguistics, and that’s why I texted this to Courtney:


…Who graciously replied, even though she obviously had much better things to do with her time.

I’m still being super cool, by the way. Today is mostly me listening to new music while drawing up diagram after diagram of our new place and figuring out where all of our stuff and art is going to go. I’m on my third version, which is fine because I like making things like lists, and also it helps me not dwell on this morning, when I sent a bitchy reply to a Craigslist post that I did not realize was satirical.

In my defense, it did not look satirical ($3k for 300 square feet on a rehabbed block of McCondos on Capitol Hill is actually completely feasible if you live in Seattle), and I was not the only one who was fooled. Also, I guess I kind of forgot that people are still trying to be literary geniuses with satirical Craigslist posts like that didn’t become completely pointless something like six years ago. But still, I suppose I should have known to keep my mouth shut on the Internet because people will continue to be terrible and/or outdated no matter my input.

Which is a good lesson, anyway, but it doesn’t stop me from occasionally fucking up and reverting back to my fix-it mantra, which is DELETE ABORT DELETE ABORT. You know, when possible. Highly recommended.

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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