Sick Burn

Spring has sprung in Seattle, and although we all know that it’s a false spring and there’s at least another couple of weeks of dreary rain and fog lurking somewhere before June, it’s impossible to resist the chance to soak up some vitamin D on your day off. Yes, even for me. I had to take the pajama pants off sometime.

Courtney and I went rambling around Carkeek Park yesterday, and like many Seattle parks, it afforded us the opportunity to stroll across sunny meadows and a beach but also climb up hillsides through the woods, and even though I have by now reached my limit for no sun and everything being wet all the time, I still have to say that I prefer the woods. I don’t know if it’s just my brain trying to trick me, but it feels as though I actually can sense the oxygen increase in the trees, and there’s something about the smell of everything green that wakes my body up and drives it to keep moving.

After the park we got sandwiches, and then I went home and read a book, and then I took a nap and that’s why I was still up after midnight last night, buying $175 worth of cat supplies from Amazon.

I wasn’t drunk – I considered a glass of wine earlier that day but, um, fell asleep instead – and I wasn’t sleep deprived. I was just awake and tired of cat mess and the way Graham complains about it, so I bought the self-cleaning litter box plus extra carbon filters and waste receptacles plus a “privacy tent” which sounds insane but really, for this house, it’s just so these “shit flickers,” as Graham calls them, won’t kick their own turds out of the box for fun. And the only self-cleaning boxes with plastic covers on them are crazy expensive, have the word “robotic” in the names, and are shaped like gigantic dildos. So, no thanks.

I also spent some time tracking my food on my Fitbit dashboard, something I never bothered to do before because a) I got my Fitbit just before Thanksgiving and no way was I going to track food over the holiday season and b) I dunno, I’m lazy? But I was pleasantly surprised, because even though I was super honest and included absolutely everything down to the mayo on my sandwich and the sugar in my morning coffee, I still came out of the day burning about 600 calories more than I consumed.

If only I’d spent some of that time taking a shower instead of waiting for this morning (Morning Me loves Night Me because Night Me sets up the coffee machine, but Night Me is kind of a dick about making Morning Me wake up at 6am because she’s too lazy to take a shower the night before), I’d have felt like I accomplished everything possible – or at least probable – on a Sunday. It would have been especially nice to get more than a few hours of sleep although I suppose there are worse things to wake up to (multiple times per night) than your friends’ laughter in the other room and the clink of beers leaving the refrigerator right outside your bedroom door.

And if I felt like spending the calories, I’d have a glass of wine tonight to take the edge off, but as it stands, I’ve only burned 4 more calories than I’ve consumed so far today, so we’ll just have to see where it stands after I do the dishes and rage punch my way to sleep later.

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About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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