Monthly Archives: April 2013


I’m turning 31 in a week. Actually in one day shy of a week, and since I’m over 30 now, this occasion fills me with a little bit of dread. No gray pubes yet (since Vern asks me every year … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart | Comments Off on PRESENTS

Ass Beat

As far as anyone can call everyone you know on Facebook a “friend,” then I’ll unfriend people for a lot of things. Saying something racist? That’s an unfriending. Having dumbass political views? That’s an unfriending. Continue whining about the same … Continue reading

Posted in Stuff I Didn't Know Before, WTF | 4 Comments


The next thing I post will be password-protected. Just that one thing, and just because there are maybe two people in the world that I’d rather didn’t read it. If you’re not one of those two people (and I very … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Password


Attention, Ladies of Facebook: You all need to chill the fuck out with these Pinterest recipes. I’m not mad about you using Pinterest to find recipes; I wouldn’t do it, but I suppose it’s not McDonald’s and you may have … Continue reading

Posted in I Eat, I Just Can't, WTF | Comments Off on Pinabetes

Stay In

As far as Mondays go, mine are usually not so bad. I mean, they’re the standard the weekend is over meets not enough sleep meets overwhelming work shitstorm meets everything is terrible always, but they typically go by pretty fast … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't, Seattle | 1 Comment


When I was younger, I never dreamed about hosting dinner parties. Keep in mind that this was in the time before the Food Network, before food and wine magazines were glossy jerk-off rags (and I mean that in the best … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Letters to My Younger Self | 2 Comments

An Unnatural Creature

I’m going back to St. Louis in a few weeks to be in Stephanie’s wedding, and all I can think about is how I need to find the time to get my dress altered and my hair cut (edited to … Continue reading

Posted in Bookish, I Heart | 1 Comment

Valuable Information

If we were doing a “who would you push off the cliff and who wouldn’t you push off the cliff” sort of thing, I’d probably choose one person in my office to push off a cliff. I’ve disliked her from … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Just Can't, WTF | 2 Comments

It’s a Dog Eat Dog World and I’m Wearing Milkbone Underwear

My friends in Boston – including one who was just two blocks away from the finish line, she described it as “wtf, was that a cannon?” – are safe and accounted for. Don’t get nuts because this is only a … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't, WTF | Comments Off on It’s a Dog Eat Dog World and I’m Wearing Milkbone Underwear

Bummery and Chainz

While driving home from work yesterday, I tried to take a picture of the car in front of me. It was an older model Trans Am, not very well maintained, with a cracked taillight, giant Van Halen logo sticker across … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, WTF | 1 Comment