I Will Fuck a Kid Up

Our neighbors are moving out! The ones who let their kids pee in our shared yard yet bitched about someone parking in the spot directly in front of the house! They’re leaving! Hooray!

Apparently they bought a house in the same neighborhood, so now they can be as bitchy as they want about the property and it’s fine because it’s actually theirs. No word yet on whether or not the kids will continue to pee in their yard, or only their yard and not the neighbors’, or just give up completely and start pissing in the street. With these people, I have no idea.

They’ve been out of the house for a couple of weeks now but a bunch of their shit is still here. Like a broken kiddie pool on one end of the yard, which is a breeding ground for mosquitos only they don’t seem to notice. Or the filled-with-rainwater-and-sludge sandbox on the other end of the yard (our end), which is also a breeding ground for mosquitos. Or the kayak leaning up against the garage, or the trash that’s been on top of the garage since we moved in, or the cardboard boxes littering their back porch and the front yard because it’s too hard for them to drive them down to the dump like responsible humans.

We were concerned that they’d never come back for their shit, but their kids are in the yard right now so it’s anybody’s guess. They might take them away. They might leave them here. Wouldn’t surprise me, considering they’re a couple of thoughtless wieners and OH LOOK their one kid is yanking up the daffodils in the yard and cramming them into a plastic bucket.

Because he didn’t kill enough of them when he peed on them for a whole year.

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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