Bad news: I have a flat tire.

Good news: It didn’t deflate until I got home from work.

Bad news: It’s on the tire that requires those idiotic lug locks to be broken.

Good news: I have AAA and was towed to the shop for free.

Bad news: The shop isn’t the one closest to the house (or, I suspect, the least expensive).

Good news: The tow truck driver was hilarious.

Bad news: I had to leave my car at the shop.

Good news: At least the walk to pick it up will be all downhill.

Bad news: All I wanted to do tonight was sit around in my fat pants and go to fucking sleep.

Good news: I ended up walking 2 miles uphill, thus allowing the giant bowl of Cap’n Crunch I just inhaled.

Bad news: If my car is not ready by this evening, I will have to leave the house at 4:30am tomorrow to catch the bus to work.

Good news: Nope, that’s the end of the good news.

Actually, not really. The good news is that when I stepped out of my car this evening and heard the hissing noise of my tire rapidly deflating, I didn’t lose my shit. I went inside, called AAA, and found a tire shop that was willing to take my car an hour and a half before closing time. And now that I’m sitting around waiting for them to call me, I realize that in times of crisis (or, to avoid calling a total first world problem a crisis, let’s just go with times of stress), I am impressively calm. When Graham stopped breathing that one time and I had to get him to the hospital? I was calm. When a snowstorm threatened to strand us in South Dakota on the way to Seattle? I was calm. When any other wrenches were thrown into my machinery at any point in the past 12 years? I was calm. For the most part.

I may have the prematurely aging heart and deep forehead wrinkles of a far more worried person (which I am), but outwardly, at least I can keep my shit together long enough to ride out whatever bullshit’s coming my way.

Edited to add: Holy balls. If you’re in Seattle and care, I went to Les Schwab Tire Center in Ballard. Not only did they fit me in an hour and a half before closing time, but they gave me a reasonable/honest estimate of how long the work would take, stayed 30 extra minutes so I could walk/jog/kind-of-fat-person-in-jeans-run down there to pick up my car, and they fixed the hole in my tire for FREE. These fucking people, man. How dare they be so awesome and actually inspire me to post to Yelp. Seriously. How dare they.