Monthly Archives: March 2013

I Will Fuck a Kid Up

Posted on March 30, 2013 by erineph

Our neighbors are moving out! The ones who let their kids pee in our shared yard yet bitched about someone parking in the spot directly in front of the house! They’re leaving! Hooray! Apparently they bought a house in the … Continue reading →

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Hate, WTF | Comments Off on I Will Fuck a Kid Up

Not Like Cake

Posted on March 27, 2013 by erineph

Last night, some retiree in Tacoma wandered around his neighborhood and fired a gun into some houses. It made sensational news around my office, mostly because holy shit some dude is shooting up his neighborhood but also because things like … Continue reading →

Posted in Art, I Just Can't, Seattle, Writing, WTF | Comments Off on Not Like Cake

In Bloom

Posted on March 23, 2013 by erineph

Seattle is in bloom, making it the most beautiful city I’ve ever called home (and in the top five most beautiful cities I’ve ever seen). I’m no botanist, but in St. Louis I didn’t get amazed by plant life until … Continue reading →

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Hello Boys and Ghouls

Posted on March 21, 2013 by erineph

There’s a woman in my office called The Cryptkeeper, and by that I mean I call her that because that’s how she looks. In a department full of chubby suburban ladies, she looks rode hard and rail thin, the latter … Continue reading →

Posted in I Just Can't, WTF | Comments Off on Hello Boys and Ghouls

You Are a Failure

Posted on March 19, 2013 by erineph

On the Steubenville rape case, which is so hugely disgusting that I can’t even write in proper paragraphs anymore: You are a failure as a human being if you rape someone. You are a failure as a parent if your … Continue reading →

Posted in I Just Can't, Sads, WTF | 2 Comments

I Need an Adult

Posted on March 18, 2013 by erineph

Bad news: I have a flat tire. Good news: It didn’t deflate until I got home from work. Bad news: It’s on the tire that requires those idiotic lug locks to be broken. Good news: I have AAA and was … Continue reading →

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Stop Sweating You Idiot

Posted on March 17, 2013 by erineph

I lost the will to drink myself unconscious on St. Patrick’s Day around the same time I started making money off of people who did. Which, according to Brendan Behan and my entire personal history, actually makes a lot of … Continue reading →

Posted in I Just Can't, Seattle | Comments Off on Stop Sweating You Idiot

Joyful Joyful

Posted on March 16, 2013 by erineph

Or, Freude, schöner Götterfunken… After a week of working overtime, I had two choices for a Friday night. One choice was the one I always make, which was to get drunk at home and watch Doctor Who. The other choice … Continue reading →

Posted in Art, I Heart, Seattle | Comments Off on Joyful Joyful

Riding Bikes, Learning Lessons

Posted on March 14, 2013 by erineph

Almost all of the time, I love Seattle. I love that it’s green and I can see mountains and there’s public transportation and it’s relatively safe. I love that it’s walkable and I hear ships’ foghorns in the morning and … Continue reading →

Posted in I Hate, I Just Can't, Seattle, WTF | 8 Comments

Birthday

Posted on March 13, 2013 by erineph

I’m going to hang out at my friend’s place tonight for his 35th birthday party get together. His (Southern) significant other is cooking (authentic) (homemade) gumbo and we’re each supposed to bring booze and a board game. Fuck being back … Continue reading →

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