Keep Calm and Snow On

To begin, my favorite band in Seattle, the French Letters, has just released their second album, “Here There Be Serpents.” You can buy it on iTunes if you like, but you’ll get a better deal by downloading from the BandCamp site. Or is it Bandcamp. Or bandcamp. Whatever. I talked about their first album “In Tongues” for a hundred million years and will continue to do so, but if “In Tongues” was punk sex metal jazz poetry, then “Here There Be Serpents” is anthemic art house rock n’ roll poetry. It’s well-won hangover music. It’s feet up on the best table in the best house with the best jukebox music. It’s a love letter written by your dreamy dirtbag prom date.

It’s fucking incredible is what I mean, and I don’t ever want to hear any of you bitch about never knowing where to look for any good new bands ever again. I’m telling you. Go to the site, listen to at least “Indulgence” and “Spin the Bottle,” and buy the album. I mean it. I promise. I would not steer you wrong.

It’s been foggy in Seattle for the past few days, and by that I mean foggy. I don’t mean that it’s a little hazy for a short while in the morning. I mean that it’s like I’m living in a Lovecraft story here, or that I half except to look up and see giant sea monster aliens walking across a supermarket parking lot. The air is soup and we’re living in the clouds, and although it’s not very cold or hard to drive, it’s weird and it won’t go away. Some of the women at work are talking about how they want it to snow, which is probably the most idiotic thing they could say because Seattle cannot cope with snow.

When it comes to snow, Seattle is kind of like the UK, which has lately made up to 4 inches of it into national news. It’s kind of adorable, especially when you start reading the tweets of people who seem so genuinely thrilled to have snow and so completely terrified that they will die in their homes and have to eat their cats. Some of the photos are the best part, with captions like “braving the snow” and “greeted by snow” appearing under images of light gray slush not even close to covering grass, streets, and shrubbery. I mean, come on UK, when your snowdrifts are only 3 inches deep, I think it’s time to slow your roll, have some of that tea you like so much, and go about your business like normal fucking people who just have to deal with a little snow on occasion.

As silly as losing their minds over a few inches of snow seems, it’s worth it to remember that America is hosting pro-gun rallies today in opposition to President Obama calling for a ban on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. Because them’s our rights and yew can’t take our guns. Am I correct on this? Or would it be worth telling these people that the crazy ass bullshit the NRA has been telling them isn’t about the Constitution, it’s about corporate gun makers lobbying to protect their own profits, just like everything else in this country that’s supposedly and/or absolutely definitely bad for you?

Ha. Ha ha. I kid. Of course it’s not worth telling them that. So carry on, UK. Keep on being amazed and fearful and giddy and please don’t eat your cats. Enjoy your snow. French Letters aside, it’s better than what we’ve got going on over here.

EDITED TO ADD: Way to go, America.

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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1 Response to Keep Calm and Snow On

  1. Thomas Fullabologna says:

    I’m really glad you reminded me of their new album. Luke never said???? anyway, yes, they are my favorite band in seattle too. Never missed a show 🙂

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