Business Advice from the Unemployed

Every morning, I wake up, make a pot of coffee, and start applying for jobs. The applying can take anywhere from one hour to two and a half hours, depending on available positions and companies with sites that actually work (because there are few things more frustrating than spending 40 minutes building a profile, only to have the site shut down halfway through the application process and all the tech support people can say is “call this number, hit this prompt, and leave a message”). I’ve developed a system wherein I mark the most recent starting point and check for new positions every four to five hours, meaning that each time I check, I only have to scroll through a few pages instead of, like, thirty. On a good day, I apply for anywhere between 8-15 jobs. On a bad day, it’s under five.

Today was a bad day. Okay, so I went to interviews on Monday and Tuesday and I have another one scheduled for next Monday and I’m not in dire financial straits at this point but being who I am, I’ve begun waking up at night (and in the morning, and staying awake when I want to be asleep at something like 4:00am) with job-related anxiety. Or more appropriately, not-having-a-job-related anxiety. I still don’t think I was wrong to decline that one position (because not only did I find it unethical, but did I really want to work with people who lied to my face three fucking times before I was even hired?), but I’m wondering just how long I’ll have to repeat this Wake Up, Get Coffee, Stare At Application Windows For Hours process.

In the meantime, I’ve locked in a few writing assignments, so I’ve got multiple deadlines scheduled starting next week and going into January. Even if I’m not being paid to write this stuff, it’s still something that makes my brain work beyond entering my dates of employment multiple times a day. Most of the assignments are from KDHX, the station that remains nearest to my heart because it’s the greatest ever. The other assignments are from KEXP, which is basically Seattle’s version of KDHX that is much bigger and can offer a ton more exposure, and for some incomprehensible reason wants me to write stuff for them. Few actual employers are responding to my cover letter and resume, but I guess I can still write a damn good introduction e-mail for shit I’m willing to do for free.

In addition to the writing, today I’m proofing two loaves of The Bread for Thanksgiving tomorrow, as well as assembling the corn pudding and prepping the greens. I’m also making some more pumpkin blondies for Graham and I (oh that’s right I didn’t tell you about those because they’re so good that we eat them before I can take a picture). At some point I’d like to get another 25% done on my latest library download, and maybe over the weekend get started on one of the used books I picked up last week, which I know I shouldn’t have done but there’s the cutest used bookstore down the street from our place and I cannot resist any business with a friendly cat inside of it.

Take note, businesses of the world. You may not want to hire me, but for your own sake, you could all stand to install a cat that is willing to approach strangers and enjoys belly rubs.

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About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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One Response to Business Advice from the Unemployed

  1. Robin says:

    I cannot stress this enough…ENJOY your unemployment! Soon you will have a job you hate like the rest of us and miss the days when you watched Judge Judy in between bong hits and espresso shots.

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