A month and a half ago, I created a Facebook invite to scam free music from my friends. No! Kidding! I created a Facebook invite that asked my friends to create 1 mix CD and send it either by mail or by web, with the promise that if they took the time to create the mix, I would listen to it while driving some 30-odd hours to Seattle, and then, once settled there, send a mix as a thank you to everyone who participated.

(If you would like to participate and are able to master the point-and-click of Google Drive, please let me know! I’ll pass along my e-mail address.)

So far, I’m standing at 12 CDs in hand with a few others promised to be in the mail, as well as some digital mixes either awaiting my download or (allegedly) coming soon. I didn’t get quite the turnout I was expecting from the accepted list, but I’m grateful for anything at all, because anything at all beats church radio in Nebraska.

I mentioned the other day that I’m sad to leave a handful of people in St. Louis. Even though I don’t see everyone all the time, I’m occasionally reminded why I enjoy certain people so much. My friend Huff (first name Matt, see below) is one of them. Below is an IM conversation I had with Huff this week, and while I’ll have to explain exactly why I know so much about Jon Bon Jovi at some other time, suffice to say that this conversation made part of my whole life:

Matt: how can i share a possible cd with you
you need to hear the young guns 2 soundtrack

me: HAHAHAHAHA I OWN IT!

Matt: its jon bon jovi’s only solo record ever
so good

me: I know!
I fucking LOVE “Santa Fe”

Matt: except for Guano City, the instrumental
Santa Fe RULES

me: Every time I see Gil Grissom, I think “hey Patty Garrett, that’s what I uu-used to call you”

Matt: that is hilarious
hey chavato!
YG2 4Life

me: Oh, BUT!
Jon Bon Jovi had 2 other solo records, one of them was made in conjunction with a terrible movie he was in with Demi Moore.
I, um, used to own it.
Basically they have a terrible relationship and live in a shithole apartment, and he goes to the worst strip club ever and then she kidnaps a baby.
And maybe they keep it?
And it is definitely not Raising Arizona.

Matt: that sounds like a dream you had when you had mono when you were 17

me: I swear, it’s real.
Hahahaha, “Destination Anywhere.” Which was either a song title or the album title or both.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118967/

Matt: I’m on it right now
“Jon Bon Jovi stars as JON, a man on the run from his home, his gambling debts, and his marriage”
how did they not just call this “livin’ on a prayer”

me: I would love for you to do a line like Kramer does for MovieFone, but with you reading descriptions of terrible movies.
I don’t know…maybe Richie was like “No way, I am busy marrying Heather Locklear and I do not even want to deal with licensing for that piece of shit.”

Matt: I am cheap if you can find someone to hire me to do that
holy crap – check this out –
“When an abandoned baby is found in a dumpster and brought to the hospital where Janie works, a series of events is set in motion that forces the couple to reassess the terms of their love, responsibility and commitment to one another.”
I hope this is on netflix

me: And she steals it!

Matt: drink everytime a baby is found in the dumpster!

me: I remember…the final scene is literally like from a fever dream, and maybe they’re standing on some deserted street with a bunch of ghost people?
And she shows up with this fucking baby in her coat.
And his face is just “oh goddammit, Janie.”

Matt: and then he says, “woooah, we’re halfway there. I’m gonna go get my 6 string out of the pawn shop”

me: Something like that. I think there’s also a scene where he wakes up a riverbank in a pile of garbage.
I’m totally serious.
Like, either a dog is sniffing him or a hobo wakes him up.

Matt: i love this movie already
i’ll bet down-and-out jon bon jovi is so funny to watch. All I can think of is him and richie and the other guy doing their staggered little hop from the living on a prayer video toward the camera.

me: And some skank in the crowd holding up a Bon Jovi license plate.
Man…if I wasn’t moving away, I’d say we get drunk and watch this “film.”

Matt: for sure
ha ha
i just read the license plate line. that is awesome
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
Whoopi Goldberg is in it?

me: I KNOW!
So is Kevin Bacon!

Matt: wow, that is awesome

me: The world is AMAZING.
Did you know that Jon Bon Jovi was in YG2, as well?

Matt: hell yeah
I knew that from the MTV documentary I watched before I even saw Young Guns 2

me: Hahahahahahahahahaha
Again: Hahahahahahahahaha

Matt: I didn’t have much going on back in 1990

me: THERE WAS A DOCUMENTARY.

Matt: I also watched every SNL that year – for sure!

me: Did MTV know what “documentary” MEANT back then?

Matt: it was probably a damn kurt loder news story
I’m mis-using the word documentary

me: I have way more respect for anything Kurt Loder touches.

Matt: he’s creepy to me

me: I love that Emilio Estevez once had so much power in Hollywood (or perhaps still does as a puppet regime master).

Matt: who knew billy the kid had such cool hair

me: It looked very soft.

Matt: Holy shit – if I was in a band, my band would be called
THE MEXICAN BLACKBIRD

me: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That’s going on the hipster band name list IMMEDIATELY.

Matt: holy shit, I hope re-incarnation is real just so that I can start a band called that when I come back as someone with musical talent

me: Oh my GOD, that’s the best band name I’ve ever heard.

Matt: chavez does it with his horse

me: Does..what?

Matt: chavez y chavez
lou diamond phillips

me: Yeah, I know who Chavez is.

Matt: that is technically from young guns 1

me: What does he do with his HORSE?

Matt: i don’t think they make an emoticon for the pointer-finger in the other-hand-hole-thing
but they should

me: Oh no way.
I refuse to believe that.
All I want to know about Chavez y Chavez is the skeleton peyote facepaint.
And the Spirit Horse in YG2.

Matt: oh yeah, that is some cool shit
that peyote face would be on the kick drum skin

me: I’d be that for Halloween if I wasn’t afraid of people calling me a racist.
This is a brilliant business plan.

Matt: That shit will be awesome. I just hope that in my next life I’m not given a nintendo in my childhood and am instead given a guitar.

me: Call your parents right now and tell them how they’ve disappointed you.

Matt: I can only blame myself. i savedup my own money and bought the nes myself…
ok, i need to do a little more work today and then get on this playlist for you guys.
Great talking with you
later

me: OK FINE.
This conversation was the best.
Good day.

Matt: later