It’d been a long time since I killed a bottle of wine by myself, so on Sunday night, I got cozy with a pizza and a bottle of Francis Ford Coppola’s Director’s Cut Zinfandel. The man might not know how to direct the final scene of The Godfather trilogy, but man, can he make some reasonably priced wine.

So I drank that and finished the last ¼ of another bottle I had while watching episodes of Buffy, and I was so drunk by like 8pm that I didn’t notice this storm had hit until I heard things flying through the air and hitting our house:

This is the next morning, which shouldn’t be too hard to fix with a power drill as long as our neighbors let us into their yard:

I’m glad I was so drunk during the storm; while the official warnings concerned only thunderstorms, the past few summers have been lousy with tornados and I do not have the coolest head in those situations. Had I not been drunk, my blood pressure would have spiked and I would have obsessively checked the radar on both the TV and the Internet and decided to trust whichever prediction sounded more severe. But again, I was hammered, and alcohol is a depressant so I just kind of hung out on the couch and told the cats it probably wouldn’t be too bad.

This is why I prefer to get drunk on my own. When I’m alone, my drunkenness is expansive. It’s calm and laid back and pleased with itself. When I’m out or with a group of people, my drunkenness turns inward. I tend to speak less and feel acutely aware of just how drunk I am and how drunk people perceive me to be, which makes me self-conscious and this is why I usually go home before I get shitfaced.

Plus, when I drink a lot by myself at home, it sort of sets me up for the week. I knew I’d need it this week and turned out to be right, because with a few deadlines (including this playlist, which is not the same as the below, as well as the review the of the new Fiona Apple album) and work and finding time to do things like shower, I don’t have time to get drunk.

This Is What’s Called Responsibility Time

Procession, The Duke Spirit
Generals, The Mynabirds (I’m sort of obsessed with this song you guys you don’t even know)
Dance With You, Black Lips
So Fine, Guns N’ Roses
Lean Woman Blues, T. Rex
Hang Up and Try Again, Guided By Voices
Downloading Porn With Davo, The Moldy Peaches
Teenage Superstars, The Vaselines
Drawing a Blank, The Tripwires
Half Crazy, Jukebox the Ghost
SWM, Tapes ‘n Tapes
Winged/Wicked Things, Sunset Rubdown
So American, Portugal. The Man
Ohio, honeyhoney
Afraid of Summer, Lost Lander
Ivy & Gold, Bombay Bicycle Club
What Katie Did, The Libertines
Rose, Mott the Hoople
Same Mistakes, The Echo-Friendly
Santa Fe, Beirut
Lie Down Here (And Be My Girl), Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
St. Rosa and the Swallows, The Thermals
Let’s Go Surfing, The Drums
What You Do To Me, Teenage Fanclub
Eiffel Tower High, Hüsker Dü

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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2 Responses to Defenced

  1. Robin says:

    When I get drunk by myself I always end up krump dancing to Missy Elliott in front of a mirror. That’s why I don’t get drunk by myself.

  2. tina says:

    When I was younger I would panic at the mention of a tornado warning and where I live we rarely even get them. Damned if I wouldn’t grab the cats, a battery operated radio and head down to the basement to wait it out though.

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