Too Polygamist for Utah

I don’t do this as often as I used to, but I check my site tracker and other stats occasionally, just to see where people are coming from and what they’re reading. Not only is this valuable in terms of knowing your stalkers, but it helps to see which topics are trending, and if you’re interested in this kind of thing, how to write for more readers.

One of the things I noticed today is that an awful lot of Londoners visited me this past week. I usually get a lot of readers from Great Britain (also France, Germany, and Sweden for some reason), but I’m surprised to see them this week. Aren’t you people supposed to be Jubilee-ing your asses off? WHAT WOULD THE QUEEN SAY.

This was supposed to dovetail into how to write on the Internet, something I’ve been thinking about for the past couple of days after having a conversation with Jennah, who’s starting to write more on her own blog again. And I will say something about it, I promise, but concentration is required and I don’t have much of that lately.

Contrary to what I expected, I find that my attention span has become shorter as I’ve aged. I don’t know if technology or the instant gratification of adulthood (money, freedom, car) have contributed, but sometimes it’s hard for me to pay attention to a full 30-minute TV show. The shows I’m able to watch are some of the most idiotic things I can imagine, like, do you know that I can sit through full episodes of My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding and Sister Wives?

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding is a lot like My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, only it’s about hillbillies from West Virginny instead of British people. Basically, it’s an hour’s worth of drunken half-wits who probably haven’t ever watched the news and make a living stealing baby clothes from Wal-Mart. There is zero redeeming social value in My Big Fat American Gypsy wedding, but some part of my brain is narcoticized by it and I don’t even change the channel.

Sister Wives is about this clusterfuck of a family who were kicked out of Utah for being polygamists. Let that sink in for a minute. They were kicked out of Utah for being polygamists. The show will tell you that they moved to Nevada because of unwanted attention in Utah, but let’s be straight. Motherfuckers were too polygamist for Utah. Anyway, these four women married this one guy, who is either 100% insane or 95% stupid, because his facial expression never changes from that of a profoundly confused cartoon bear. What kills me about this show is that none of the women seem all that dumb to me; I don’t share their beliefs or support their choices, but none of them have done anything that makes me think “well, you are just the stupidest bitch in the world, aren’t you?” One of them, Christine, has a pro-level bitchface and seems to actively hate her husband, so I kind of like her.

This is what I’m doing to my brain, everyone. I guess it means something that I’m not taping (or whatever people call it these days) these shows or keeping track of when their air, but when I’m flipping through the channels, I will watch them. Alcohol isn’t even involved.

I don’t know how to live with myself sometimes.

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About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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