STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE

Based on what people at work and on the Internet are saying, the worst character in The Walking Dead is Lori. No, I’m just kidding, the worst character in The Walking Dead is Carl, and if that kid can’t stay in the fucking house for five fucking seconds, then I swear to god, I will kill him myself. BUT people also really don’t like Lori, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t understand. She’s not my favorite character (that would be Darryl, because obviously), but there are some things I’d like to address about why Lori is not the worst.

For one, she’s not a bad mother. It’s not her fault that Carl is never in the house. He’s what, eight? Maybe nine? That’s way too old for a kid leash and even if that was  age-appropriate, kid leashes went out with Xboxes and Gentle Glide tampons when the apocalypse happened. She can’t be expected to act as the matriarch of all these people and keep a constant eye on Carl, who really should know better by now and just STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.

Two, she’s not hysterical. There are moments when she loses her shit, but so does everyone. It’s the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Clearly things can get a little tense. Also she’s pregnant, and I have had enough pregnant friends to know that when you’re knocked up, you’re a fucking lunatic. What I see in this character is normal stress. It’s a normal person reacting to an abnormal world. Just because she’s not super compliant like Maggie (bitch, if you don’t fix that accent, I will slap it right out of your mouth) or a lump of human sadness like Carol, that doesn’t mean she’s a nutcase.

Three, she didn’t tell Rick to kill Shane. No. No, she did not. She felt threatened by Shane, who was growing increasingly erratic and violent (remember that whole attempted rape in season one?), and to protect herself, her baby, and her family – which is the only solid unit she knows since the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE – she told Rick that Shane was going to have to be dealt with. I don’t think that meant killed, and I don’t think Rick did, either. He didn’t kill Shane because Lori told him to, he killed Shane because Shane was planning to execute him. If anything, Rick was a family man trying to protect his family, and Lori happens to be a part of it.

Four, she’s not mad at Rick for killing Shane. She’s shocked that he did it, as well as appalled that one of the only thoroughly good people she knows now has the capacity to do evil. And Rick didn’t just confess to killing Shane, he confessed that Carl is the one who took Walker Shane down. How must that feel? To have one of the few consistently good people you know murder someone, and to have your son shoot that someone in the head from 30 paces? This is a lot to process for someone who has been trying to stay good and human when everything around them turns to the opposite.

Five, aren’t there worse characters? Carl, for instance and most obvious? And Carol? And Andrea, who despite the ass kickery and meeting Michonne, still gets on my fucking nerves? What is it about Lori that inspires such ire? Fine, her hair is ridiculous, some of the actors have a total of two facial expressions, the black guy doesn’t get any lines, and Carl won’t STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE, but overall, I think there are bigger things to worry about than why a woman should or should not struggle with existential questions during the apocalypse.

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About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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10 Responses to STAY IN THE FUCKING HOUSE

  1. Darina says:

    Thank you! It drives me crazy everytime I hear “Why is Lori mad at Rick for killing Shane?” I seriosly thought I was the only one who thinks that she’s not mad at him for killing Shane but appalled that her child was present and had something to do with it.

  2. tina says:

    I think Lori went through a couple of different levels of emotion during that conversation. First is the realization that Rick killed Shane. After all the debate about keeping Randall alive and then actually not killing him, only to turn around a kill Shane I think was a bit of a shock. However with each thing Rick said it was kind of like a punch to the gut each time. Not only did her husband, who she believes in and trusts, killed another human (non walker) but also that Shane was going to kill Rick, that Carl had a gun and shot Shane (as a zombie), etc. Not to mention she had to feel a certain level of responsibility for what transpired. However, while she does irk me sometimes, it’s not nearly as much as Andrea.

  3. tina says:

    Oh and personally, I still think Carl needs to be put over someone’s knee once in awhile. I understand he is a child adapting to a whole new world but once in awhile you gotta discipline a kid when they act the way he does.

  4. Neha says:

    What about her whole “Women stay in the house and cook and clean while men do the fighting” speech? I’m a woman and if a zombie apocalypse happens, I’M NOT ABOUT TO BE BITCHING ABOUT HOW WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO COOK AND CLEAN. She is a horrible stereotype for women- the usual dumb damsel in distress and I HATE her for that.

    • erineph says:

      My perception of that conversation was that she was telling Andrea that to keep HER in the house (although why she’s not equally concerned with Carl, I have no idea). While I don’t think that Andrea was/is a real threat to Lori’s security after Lori started telling err’body all her secrets, I do think that Lori is trying to maintain a Southern level of sanity/normalcy in the group, and sees that Andrea has the potential to be a loose cannon, especially as easily influenced as she is by Shane. As backwards as it may seem at times, her intentions are (to me) clearer than anti-feminism.

      Also Andrea’s a huge bitch.

      • tina says:

        I agree. Andrea is a bitch. In the books Lori dies and eventually Andrea and Rick kiss. I HOPE to hell that they do not follow that in the course of the show.

        • erineph says:

          The show has so diverged from the book at this point, I don’t think we can expect anything from the book anymore. Unless Lori and the baby get crushed by a tank. That would be wild.

  5. Erik says:

    Carol-A lump of human sadness.”
    LMFAO!

  6. tina says:

    I like how they took comic book Dale’s story and turned it into Hershel’s. Minus banging Andrea. There are simiiarities, some of them loose similarities to the books. Lori and baby are shot in the books, curious to see if they carry that out on the show.

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