My feelings towards my job are such that upon waking on a workday, this tense feeling of resentment creeps into my shoulders and holds them in lock for the rest of the day. This feeling was multiplied by tens this morning, because not only is today (and tomorrow, and Wednesday, and Friday) a corporate holiday and I have to fucking work, but I am also the only full time employee working every one of these days, and this is on top of the last four corporate holidays I’ve already worked.

I really wasn’t pleased when I sat down at my desk, either, because I found out that only one of the locations we support was even open, and it was evident that staffing wasn’t necessary at all. Within an hour and a half, I’d completed all the work there was to do and felt like I’d looked at the entire Internet. I was bored. I was angry. I wanted to go the fuck home.

Luckily, there’s some policy that states a 4-hour workday during corporate holiday when there’s no actual work to be done is all you need, and I was sent home. I would have preferred to be able to sleep late (which would have allowed me to go to Adrian and Angelica’s for the 2nd annual PENNY CAN tournament), but spending half the day on my couch is far better than spending the entire day at my desk.

So I got to sit on the couch and watch the Food Network (does anyone think it’s REALLY necessary to Giada deLaurentiis to pronounce it “spi-GEE-tee”?) while drinking a Coke from the whole case Graham’s mom gave me for Christmas. Wait a minute, you’re saying, a case of soda? That sounds like the crappiest gift ever! WRONG. This case of Coke is of the Mexican variety, which is not only the best kind (cane sugar instead of corn syrup means no cloying, metallic aftertaste), but is also super thoughtful because I gave Graham’s mom one of them…what, in August? Yeah, because that’s when Graham broke his face and his mom came over to drop off some prescriptions. So it really was a nice thing to keep in mind for 3+ months, but also hilarious to see Graham struggle to get in the door while lugging a case of these thick glass Coke bottles.

It’s only a little odd to realize that while I received a few other gifts (including luggage, which means I made it almost 30 years without ever owning a grownup suitcase look out gentleman I’m still not married), I was most excited about receiving a Mexican case of cola, though not odd at all to find that I would rather sit around watching The Babysitter’s Seduction on Lifetime than sit around doing nothing at work.

This is what’s called the holidays, everyone.