If I haven’t been writing much lately, it’s because I’m practicing for spending my whole weekend without the Internet. Charter won’t be able to hook us up until Monday morning (and by Monday morning, I mean they’ll call us at 11:59am and say they can’t be there until 3 in the afternoon), so it looks like I’m moving in Saturday and remaining Internet- and Netflix-less for two whole days. Unless I go to the deli, in which case I will have free Internet with my sandwich and some beer. This is not a bad way to have the Internet, you have to admit. Or I could just stay home and unpack. That’s an option, too.

I’m not really practicing for spending a weekend without the Internet. What I’m really doing is thinking about all the things I have left to do before the movers get here on Saturday. These things are:

1. Finish packing kitchen.
2. Finish packing bathroom.
3. Finish doing laundry.
4. Finish packing clothes.
5. Take out all of the fucking trash in this fucking apartment because I am fucking gross and had no idea this stuff was even in here in the first fucking place.
6. Clean everything.

The cleaning won’t be as vigorous as I’d planned; my landlords are coming into town to renovate the kitchen (hayyyy, peel-and-stick tile from 1994!), so really cleaning would be foolish considering all the trash and dust that’ll be all over the place. But the packing is essential, and something I’ve been sort of lazy about doing. I mean, I started packing two weeks ago, but then I stalled, and then I tricked myself into thinking I didn’t have too much stuff, and then I decided that I really needed a lot of it and couldn’t possibly pack it until the second before the movers arrived. Which is stupid, and by now I should know better.

SO. After I post this, I’m going to do at least 4 of the things on my list. I will not check Twitter, Facebook, or Tumblr. I will listen to the new Wilco album and probably also some early Stevie Wonder instead of watching TV (at least until 7:30 and after 8:00, because not watching Parks & Rec means I won’t understand any of Brennan’s text messages for the rest of the night). I will somehow find the time to take a shower, because I wake up way too early tomorrow morning and can’t go to work with dirty hair two days in a row. I will take solace in the knowledge that although this blog has become exactly like all those boring women who write about their to-do lists and decoupage projects, it is only temporary, and I’m getting an awesome house out of it, and when I get back on the Internet next week, I am going to BLOW YOUR FUCKING MINDS.