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Don’t Steal From My Brain, Please
Monthly Archives: July 2011
She’s Touching My Special Area
If for some ridiculous reason you plan on visiting St. Louis in the summer, here’s some advice you would do well to heed: 1. Don’t go outside. Ever. Especially if you have asthma, a heart condition, or enjoy looking as … Continue reading
Posted in I Hate, I Just Can't
1 Comment
We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Sub
“If you ain’t on the Infamation Superhighway, baby, then whey is you?” — Coolio, to MTV sometime around 1995 and below, around the :50 mark. Kurt Loder was right. At least, he was right back then. In 1995, the Internet … Continue reading
Posted in I Heart, Letters to My Younger Self, Nerd It Up, WTF
4 Comments
Consider Me Miles Davis
Earlier today, I was telling Katie about this video of the Juggalo Gathering that I sometimes watch when I’ve had a really bad day at work. You’d think that the general themes of stupidity, filth, and terrible music would make … Continue reading
Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Pop Life, WTF
Comments Off on Consider Me Miles Davis
Never Not Ever
I saw somebody’s boobs the other night. I didn’t mean to; boobs don’t really do anything for me, erotically-speaking, and if I really want to see them for some reason, uhm, hello, I have a pretty amazing rack myself and … Continue reading
Now, Children
Last night, Katie, Dave, and I went out to celebrate the fact that someone new on the Internet hates me. Hate mail fills me with genuine glee, which I know sounds like a weird reaction but I do have reasons: … Continue reading
Posted in I Heart, Little Corner of Moron, The Pop Life, Writing, WTF
4 Comments
Surely Not
Minutes after the news broke about Amy Winehouse being found dead, I tweeted: “It’s probably classier to be found dead in a London flat than in an American apartment.” For the next five minutes, I watched other tweets appear in … Continue reading
The Dumbass Majority
A psychic once told my mom that I would be married three times. She told my mom this while I was married the first (and only) time. When she called to tell me about it, I already knew that I … Continue reading
Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Hate, I Just Can't, Paychecks Are Important
Comments Off on The Dumbass Majority
I Am a Damn Fine American
There’s a part in Field of Dreams that always makes me cry. Sports movies do this to me. I know I’m supposed to cry at movies where women die of cancer on the same day or something, but I usually … Continue reading
Posted in I Heart, Nerd It Up, The Pop Life
1 Comment
Like Magic
I went to the tattoo shop yesterday for a consultation on my 3/4 sleeve*, and the above was on the wall. Not many people would think that a tattoo shop at Jefferson and Broadway would be full of dudes with … Continue reading
Posted in Art, Bookish, Nerd It Up, The Pop Life, Writing
Comments Off on Like Magic