Monthly Archives: July 2011

She’s Touching My Special Area

Posted on July 30, 2011 by

If for some ridiculous reason you plan on visiting St. Louis in the summer, here’s some advice you would do well to heed: 1. Don’t go outside. Ever. Especially if you have asthma, a heart condition, or enjoy looking as … Continue reading →

Posted in I Hate, I Just Can't | 1 Comment

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Sub

Posted on July 29, 2011 by

“If you ain’t on the Infamation Superhighway, baby, then whey is you?” — Coolio, to MTV sometime around 1995 and below, around the :50 mark. Kurt Loder was right. At least, he was right back then. In 1995, the Internet … Continue reading →

Posted in I Heart, Letters to My Younger Self, Nerd It Up, WTF | 4 Comments

Consider Me Miles Davis

Posted on July 28, 2011 by

Earlier today, I was telling Katie about this video of the Juggalo Gathering that I sometimes watch when I’ve had a really bad day at work. You’d think that the general themes of stupidity, filth, and terrible music would make … Continue reading →

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Pop Life, WTF

Never Not Ever

Posted on July 26, 2011 by

I saw somebody’s boobs the other night. I didn’t mean to; boobs don’t really do anything for me, erotically-speaking, and if I really want to see them for some reason, uhm, hello, I have a pretty amazing rack myself and … Continue reading →

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Just Can't, Stuff I Didn't Know Before, The Zombie Apocalypse, WTF | 6 Comments

Now, Children

Posted on July 24, 2011 by

Last night, Katie, Dave, and I went out to celebrate the fact that someone new on the Internet hates me.  Hate mail fills me with genuine glee, which I know sounds like a weird reaction but I do have reasons: … Continue reading →

Posted in I Heart, Little Corner of Moron, The Pop Life, Writing, WTF | 4 Comments

Surely Not

Posted on July 23, 2011 by

Minutes after the news broke about Amy Winehouse being found dead, I tweeted: “It’s probably classier to be found dead in a London flat than in an American apartment.” For the next five minutes, I watched other tweets appear in … Continue reading →

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Internet is My Boyfriend, The Pop Life, WTF | 7 Comments

The Dumbass Majority

Posted on July 21, 2011 by

A psychic once told my mom that I would be married three times. She told my mom this while I was married the first (and only) time. When she called to tell me about it, I already knew that I … Continue reading →

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Hate, I Just Can't, Paychecks Are Important