Dennis Fears the Wireless

Okay, before I start the actual entry and so it doesn’t get lost at the bottom: Person who found my blog by googling “burrito tits,” you are the single greatest thing to happen to a blogger on Sunday morning.

Awhile back, I was explaining Netflix to my father.  He’s the kind of person who bought three digital converter boxes for his TVs instead of just getting cable, even though I know he would freak out over cable and start calling me at 10:30pm to tell me about the aliens vs. Mayans prophecy show he’s watching on the History Channel right now.

He also still goes to Blockbuster, enough that when he was interviewed on the news for some goddamn reason, the kid who worked at his favorite Blockbuster asked for his autograph the next time he came in.  Know how he recognized him?  The sweatband.  My father wears sweatbands. Yeah.  Just like Richie Tenenbaum.

He wears them when he exercises and goes on walks, and no matter how many times I tell him how ridiculous they look, he says “But Erin, I sweat!  The sweat goes in my eyes, it just pours down into my eyes!”

Um.  Okay, Dad.  In addition to his 70s-era sweatbands, my father has also used the Internet maybe three times in his whole life.  I was honestly surprised when he knew what Google was.  So I had to take extra care when explaining Netflix to him, specifically Netflix Instant.  He seemed sort of terrified by the idea of a wireless connection in my television, but got interested when I told him that I had Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in my queue and that I could watch it whenever I wanted.

“Butch Cassidy!  I love that movie!  I’ve been looking all over for it, but Blockbuster never has it.  Y’know, I don’t know about that Blockbuster.  I’m thinkin’ they might have some problems.”

“Dad, you read the newspaper every day.  You know they basically live in a state of bankruptcy.  Of course they have problems.  They’re also more interested in carrying the next Miley Cyrus movie than they are carrying Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

“Who is Miley Cyrus?”

“Pffft, I barely know.  Anyway, if you want, some Sunday I’ll cook dinner and you can come over and watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

“Oh, that might be nice.  But not during football season.”

“Um, Dad, it’s September.”

“Yeah, well, it can wait until after the Super Bowl.”

So now it’s after the Super Bowl.  Netflix expired the instant version of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid last week.  I felt bad initially, but then remembered that my father thinks football is more important than classic film and dinner, so he can watch Serpico or something like that.

(OH WAIT, Netflix expired that too.  And Cool Hand Luke.  WTF?  How am I supposed to watch stuff now?)

Have I ever mentioned that my dad is a clean freak to a hypochondrial degree?  And that while my house is acceptable to normal people, he’ll see the dust on the ceiling fan blades and ask me how I’m able to live like an animal?

I’m enjoying my quiet time while I can.  In about an hour, I’ll have to start tearing ass on cleaning and prepping everything for the lemon pesto rolled pork loin, swiss chard with white beans, pureed potatoes and cauliflower, and biscuits with apple-pear sauce.  Also I have beer.  And wine.  And hopefully he’ll be so cowed by the power of the Internet that he won’t notice my unwillingness to take out the recycling in winter.

Someplace Like Bolivia

Undertow, Warpaint
Apples In The Trees, Mirah
The Greatest Light Is the Greatest Shade, The Joy Formidable
Even Though Your Leather Is Cliche…, Kid Congo Powers & The Pink Monkey Birds
Must Be Nice, Frankie Rose and the Outs
Darling, Girls
I Can Go On, Moonhearts
I Was Denied, Thee Oh Sees
Sometimes, The Rifles
Halo the Harpoons, The Stills
One Foot In The Grave, Pernice Brothers
Queen Black Acid, Menomena
Boxing, Ben Folds Five
Records of a Flagpole Skater, Surf City
Down By The Water, The Drums
Haunted, Sinead O’Connor and Shane MacGowan (nice catch, Tara!)
St. Louis Woman, Freddie Lark (played on the 2/11/11 broadcast of Bob’s Scratchy Records, and it’s unreal)
Deep In The Mud, Those Poor Bastards
Black Suit, Grand Duchy
Tele, Las Robertas
Because of the Blood, Sin Fang
There’s Been An Accident, The Twilight Singers
Bandages, Hey Rosetta!

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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