I don’t know what it is about the promise of snow, but the adult part of me is never as insistent as the kid part of me. It’s not that I enjoy snow; as a grownup, my current enjoyment of it is limited to seeing how pretty it is before I have to trudge outside, clean off my car, and drive to work on streets that haven’t been plowed.
(And by the way, People At Work Who Live In The Bumfuck Suburbs, your call in excuses about no one plowing your subdivision are bullshit because I live in South City and no one gives a shit about us here. Suck it up and drive your car like you want to stay employed.)
But once the snow starts falling, the kid part of me doesn’t want it to stop. I want so much snow it’s blinding. I want accumulation. I want to continue looking out the window to see that it hasn’t slowed, it’s still going, and maybe work will be closed tomorrow.
Except it never is, and all the boring people I know on Facebook keep telling everyone that their kid’s school is closed. I don’t care that Dylan/Kaitlynn/whatever other stripper or dog name you gave your kid gets to stay home, okay? I’m still expected in the office, where at least 30% of my co-workers will be no-shows or late-shows because, despite decades of living in the Midwest where it snows in the winter, they have not yet figured out that when the weather is bad, you should probably leave for work earlier.
Leave earlier even if we have a late start, which is all we can expect if there’s less than five feet of snow on the ground. We had a late start about a week ago, but it wasn’t programmed into the hotline until after 6am. I’m awake, dressed, and midway through my first cup of coffee by 6am. That 9:30am start didn’t do much for me. Sure, I passed out on the couch for 30 minutes with my makeup on, but I would have much rather slept in for real.
We’re expecting 4 to 6 inches tonight. Probably less. And since I know I’ll be going into work no matter what, here’s hoping I get a decent Little Corner of Moron out of it.*
They Never Give Us Snow Days Anymore
All Cleaned Out, Elliott Smith
Excuses, The Morning Benders
Your Lower Back, Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s
Plastic Factory, Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band
Federal Funding, CAKE
We Are Sound, British Sea Power
I Don’t Want To See You Like This, The Joy Formidable
Turnpike Ghost, Steel Train
All The Pretty Girls, Fun.
Laying On A Bed of Roses, The Muffs
All Grown Up, Gore Gore Girls
Mr. Nobody, The Standells
Move In Tight, The Love Me Nots
Goodbye, Best Coast
Keeping You Alive, Gossip
I Don’t Want To Know, Fleetwood Mac (the best song on Rumours, mostly because of the sound Lindsay Buckingham’s guitar makes at the very beginning when he slides his fingers up (or down, I don’t know) the neck, seemingly overlooked in recording)
I’m Ready, I Am, The Format
The Ghost At Number One, Jellyfish
You Gave Your Love To Me Softly, Weezer
Jackie Wants A Black Eye, Dr. Dog
You’re Not Coming Home Tonight, First Aid Kit
Stay Awhile, Dusty Springfield
Yellowed By The Sun, The Low Anthem
Home, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
*One is currently in the works. I just need a photo of me in a semi-clean T-shirt and I am so not motivated enough for laundry today.
No shit. I hate the excuse some people us about their subdivisions, or driveways, or how they “park on a hill” and can’t get out. South city fuckin bites when it snows. The side streets don’t get any treatment. Suck it up.