Stop…BONERTIME!

Full disclosure: I am hopped to the gills on Allegra D, which eliminates your allergies and makes you feel like you ate a trailer park’s worth in methamphetamine.  Initially, I resisted anything stronger than OTC Zyrtec (actually it’s generic cousin, Wal-Zyr, which sounds like an evil wizard but is sold just a few aisles away from birthday cards with pictures of singing puppies on them) for two reasons:

1. The only allergy medicine that usually works for me is the kind that knocks me out.  I stay awake, but I’m barely aware of my surroundings and have caught myself blankly staring at 30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray while under the influence before.  Horrifying.

2. I have enough stress in my life, and pills that cause me to hear my hair growing are probably not going to help me relax.  When you have dayslong headaches because you grind your teeth in your sleep, any medicines that cause you to be even more hyper-aware of your circumstances are ill advised.

But waking up with my eyes and nose swollen shut is a problem, so in consideration of the abnormally high mold count we’re having lately, I am drugged the fuck up.  Not out.  UP.

Which explains why I finally got around to importing my blogroll to erineph.com today.  There’s still no WordPress export available from Blog City, but I may as well stay here until I can get it.  I’d rather move everything over in one go, anyway, and not have to worry about a few newer entries at erineph.com buried under the exported stuff.  If that’s how it works, but I’ve never exported a blog before so I wouldn’t know.

This month has been the most viewed yet for Ephemera Etc., and I’d like to keep the streak going for as long as possible before I’m thrust into View Siberia again.  People are coming in from everywhere!  So far this month, Ephemera Etc. has had 16 visitors who clicked from a website offering Viagra for 8 cents a pill.  I know this is SPAM and doesn’t really count, and that I don’t remember writing anything so sexually explicit that I would be linked there for any reason whatsoever, but it’s all very stimulating.  If forced to decide, I’d blame my habitual use of the word “boner,” which I may start using as a hits cheat once I move to erineph.com.  Although, if I am going to follow the Internet’s rules for getting people to randomly click on penis enlargement links, I should probably start typing it as “super manly cheap boner luv u,” or get a little Commie on it with “In Mother Russia, the boner pops you!”

Which could mean any number of awesome/terrifying things, but I’m excited to see how many views I get from that.

I’ve been debating re-establishing a Hitslink or other tracker account, but I’ve been warned that it’s a slippery slope of narcissism.  Obviously, except it’s really fun to look up IP addresses.  I’m not even trying to see who’s spying on me anymore, because in the first trial month of my Hitslink, I learned that everyone I already suspected of spying on me actually was.  This knowledge had no effect on my use of the word “boner,” but it was nice to know, anyway.

Aside from boner health concerns, the other main Googled topic leading people here is Alan Rickman.  Some people write blogs to get famous, but knowing that people find my blog because they, too, care about Alan Rickman makes about 80% of my time on the Internet worthwhile.  The rest of the time I’m looking at pictures of people’s cats.

Maybe I’ll get a tracker when I move to WordPress.  I expect that the first few months will be dull and depressing, what with nobody wanting to move to erineph.com.  How many times is that, now?

If you visit the “About Me” (or however I’ve titled it) section of erineph.com, you’ll get to read a brief description about why I’m there and possibly recognize yourself in my very brief thank you for anyone who’s decided to read anything I write.  Thanks to all of you, there are people in the world who know how much I love Canada, how much I hate when people say “well, tell us how you really feel!,” and how much I usually wish I was British.

Which is why I love these videos so much.  In my boorish American frame of reference, it’s like getting my dad (or my dad 2) and Dave together to do a travel show.  I know I have semi-pirated basic cable, but would it be possible for me to get Sky TV?

 

and also Part 2, which is also 100% worth watching, I promise…

 

(Note to my grandma in case her great-grandchildren, for some idiotic reason, teach her to use the Internet: I am sorry I keep saying “boner.”  I know you disapprove, but it’s kind of one of the funniest words in the history of ever.)

Advertisements

About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
This entry was posted in I Heart, The Internet is My Boyfriend, The Pop Life. Bookmark the permalink.