Love You Like I’m Probably Incapable of Doing

While a few of my friends are certifiable “I love you” junkies, for me the phrase is something more personal.  I don’t go flinging it around because I don’t want it to lose meaning, and by that I’m not being sentimental, I just mean that I don’t want it to become a default response for “I like you okay” or “I have nothing else to say right now” or “I fucked up.”

The first time someone I was dating told me they loved me, I said “thank you.”  As you can probably imagine, that went over well.  I just didn’t know what else to say.  I briefly considered going all Han Solo and responding with “I know,” but that seemed like a real dick move.  I also considered ignoring them completely, but I was fully conscious and sitting right in front of them when they said it (unlike the time someone I was dating said “I love you” when they thought I was sleeping, so of course I kept pretending like I was).  I had no other choice.

So I’m writing this because there are plenty unconventional ways of saying “I love you” and just as many ways to say its opposite.  I also wrote this because it’s the last day of the month and I talked to an unbelievable number of assholes today.  If I was granted any two workplace wishes, they would be:

1. Get to fight the co-worker of my choosing at least once per quarter (credited to Fiala, and I would choose and defeat Shit Sandwich every. single. time).

2. Be allowed to answer “who is your manager?” with “my manager’s name is EAT SHIT, that’s what my manager’s name is!”

…The point was that I should write something that’s not as shitty as my day was.  Something positive.  Something cuddly.  Which is pretty much a miracle considering I found this site and will never have to turn to narcotics ever again.

And I also wrote this because people like playlists.

I Used To Love You But Now I Just Stalk You On the Internet

Beat Your Heart Out – The Distillers
Rats In the Hallway – Rancid
Good Good Things – The Descendents
La La Love You – The Pixies
Junkie – Poe
Bourbon In Your Eyes – Devil Doll
Where Do I Begin – Shirley Bassey (Away Team Mix)
Hallelujah, I Love Her So – Ray Charles
Beyond the Sea – Bobby Darin
Trouble – Ray LaMontagne
Bless the Telephone – Labi Siffre
It’s Raining – Detroit Cobras
Ruby, Don’t You Take Your Love To Town – CAKE
I Don’t Want To Know – Fleetwood Mac
Love Like a Bomb – Oasis
With David Bowie – Veruca Salt
Do You Wanna Dance? – The Ramones
I Want You Right Now – MC5
Pills I Took – Those Poor Bastards
Think Locally, Fuck Globally – Gogol Bordello
Boom – Anjulie
Come On Over – Jem
Bar Italia – Pulp
Yeah  Oh, Yeah – Tracey Thorn and Jens Lenkman
Enid – Barenaked Ladies
Howlin’ For You – The Black Keys
Popular Mechanics for Lovers – Beulah
Such Great Heights – Iron & Wine
Fuck and Run – Liz Phair
I Need To Know Where I Stand – Rhett Miller
Blackbird – The Beatles
Falling Down – Tom Waits
Chelsea Hotel No. 2 – Rufus Wainwright
We May Be the Ones – Paul Westerberg
You Are What You Love – Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins
Valentine – The Old 97’s
Gospel – The National
Could Have Been – Lee Fields
Miss Misery – Elliott Smith
Forever – Ben Harper
I Believe (When I Fall In Love) – Stevie Wonder
Coming Back to You – Leonard Cohen
Dead Flowers – The Rolling Stones
Nebraska – Bruce Springsteen

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About erineph

I'm Erin. I have tattoos and more than one cat. I am an office drone, a music writer, and an erstwhile bartender. I am a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen. Things I enjoy include but are not limited to zombies, burritos, Cthulhu, Kurt Vonnegut, Keith Richards, accordions, perfumery, and wearing fat pants in the privacy of my own home.
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