Monthly Archives: May 2010

SUBMIT!

I went to Ben and Vern’s last night for Ben’s birthday.  It was also a UFC Fight Night.  I’m not so much a fan of inbred, steroid abusing, mental midgets with cauliflower ear growths, but I do enjoy hanging out … Continue reading

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Consider This

I’m used to getting out of bed at 5:30am, so waking up at 8 on weekends feels kind of decadent.  It’s almost impossible for me to sleep past 8:30.  I have to have been really drunk the night before or … Continue reading

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Deaf Chords, Dead Ends

It would probably not surprise you to learn that I am generally not a fan of Pop music.  I don’t mean “popular” music or even music that is broadly considered to be pop, I mean Pop.  As in autotune-heavy, synth-backed, … Continue reading

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Slide Over Here and Give Me a Moment

I should probably tell you this now, because Graham has already told all of his friends and I’ve said something to a couple of mine. WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!1! Ha.  You idiots.  If a single one of you read that sentence … Continue reading

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Teenage Dirtbag

My 10-year high school reunion is next month.  It’s at a bar.  I don’t remember exactly where the bar is located, but I know it’s somewhere in the suburbs, which is not anywhere near the actual school.  I’m not going.  … Continue reading

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Everything I Know About MTV I Learned From The Soup

Most weeknights, I watch The Simpsons at 6 and 6:30 and then I walk away from the TV.  It’s still on, but I’m only barely aware of it in the other room.  Monday night, I was cutting up broccoli in … Continue reading

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USA USA USA

My Dad called me tonight.  He consistently forgets that my minutes aren’t free until 9pm.  For years, his excuse for calling earlier in the evening was that he had to get his conversation out of the way before 24 came … Continue reading

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Fool Moon Rising

The Powerball is at $145 million.  Good luck to everyone out there, we have the same chances of winning. When I first moved back to St. Louis, I had the option of living with my parents until I could scrape … Continue reading

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We Can Be Friends if You Have Bail Money

The Internet is starting to freak me out. It’s not the IM-speak or the LOLcats or the porn, though.  It’s the way people act like friends over the Internet, specifically, the way they act like friends when they only know … Continue reading

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Squee

I spent some time in the Little Corner of Moron today.  Sometime after Fiala decided to start referring to me as “Lurch,” I dusted off an old chestnut and asked Brennan which creature would be more beneficial to send into … Continue reading

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