Someone I know asked me if I wanted to do dominatrixing the other day.  Not to them, but with them.  Like, we’d both be dominatrixes and would dominate clients.  She’s already a dominatrix (sort of, she mostly apprentices with someone else) and apparently thinks I’d be good for the job.

I declined.

I also declined a previous request to join her coven.  Although I seem qualified for both, and despite what some of my ex-boyfriends might say, I’m not interested in being a witch or a (technical, we’ll get to that) whore.  The coven thing really doesn’t interest me because I’m not into religion at all.  As an atheist, I can’t very well reject the Christian god and embrace literally dozens of others.  Even if I was only in it for the “sisterhood,” or whatever, it seems a bit disingenuous.

The dominatrix thing, though?  Um.  I might actually think about it if the following were true:

1.  I was single
2.  I was under- or un-employed

I thought about adding “I could guarantee that no sex was involved,” but I already know that.  There’s no sex involved.  It’s just dressing up in authoritative clothes (teacher and cop stuff, apparently, those latex catsuits aren’t used by “lifestyle” doms*) and being bossy.  Which I could TOTALLY do.  If there’s a special category of dominatrixing that involves insulting people (and I’m sure there is), I would be AWESOME at it.  I mean, whatever.  People do worse things for money.  Keeping your clothes on and getting paid for someone else’s fetish is no more evil than working as a bill collector.  I’d feel like a better human being helping to relieve someone’s stress than I would by helping to put someone out of their home for getting laid off and missing a mortgage payment.

Besides, I find Twilight much more embarrassing than providing sexual gratification for money.  Speaking of, that British nutcase is back.

(She is still less crazy than Breaking Dawn, though.  Can’t wait for her to see that one.  Sheeeeeeit.)

*Yes, I read Bitchy Jones.  I know all about lifestyle doms vs. Lifestyle Doms, the latter being someone who is simply born with the sexual mechanism requiring dominating someone else in order to experience pleasure.  I am talking about lowercase doms here, meaning someone who doesn’t mind doing it for money.  It takes all kinds, okay?

**The sex work I keep mentioning excludes sex trafficking, because yes I am an adult and I have been watching Lisa Ling since the Channel 1 days of high school.