I am so glad the Internet has improved itself. Back in high school, there was no Google and no Wikipedia, so school papers were still researched in a library. With a card catalog. Using the Dewey decimal system. Whooooa, kids today, look out.
Also, aside from starting your own geocities page (I was uninterested, but I was a pre-MySpace user of Bolt ), there wasn’t really all that much to do on the Internet. Downloading took forever. You couldn’t watch videos. Not a single person I knew had a blog.
Thankfully, things have changed for the better. I am at least 30% smarter today because of the stuff I read on the Internet, including what people usually search for when they type “retarded” into Google. Ummm, “retarded animal babies?” Or “retarded policeman?” Or “do retarded people know they’re retarded?” WTF do you people do with your time, and how do I get in on this action?
One of the things I enjoy the most about today’s Internet is IM. IM existed back then but not like it does now. Not in a way that I can IM friends while at work, which is where I had one of the Top 5 Internet Conversations of My Life* with Stephanie about how I have 3 degrees of separation between myself and Shawn Hunter. That’s right. The bad boy best friend (you could tell he was bad because he had floppy hair, had lived in a trailer, and joined a cult for a very short period of time) from Boy Meets World.
Stephanie: Dude my friend Stee (the weeds writer) is friends with freaking RIDER STRONG
me: SHAWN HUNTER?!?!
Stephanie: Yes m’am
me: That is INSANE.
Last night I informed Justin that he is officially 4 degrees away from Tom Waits thanks to my (and Stee’s) friend Francis. He almost cried.
me: I would cry and then I would wet myself out of excitement.
I kind of am right now because I know you, too.
And that gives me a degree.
Stephanie: I know. But now I am nervous about that blog I wrote about Danielle Fishel
me: …Oh dang…
I just remembered I commented with something about Topanga’s boobs.
We’re both in trouble.
Stephanie: I know. We are both in deep sh*t
me: Eh. If I remember anything from reading Tiger Beat as a tween, Rider Strong is a vegetarian.
So who cares
Stephanie: I will have to edit this with a disclaimer – I DON’T HATE HER! JUST THE MEDIA!
me: And I LIKE her show!
me: We could drink with her and I think she could hold her liquor!
The best part about this is Stee posted a random picture of his brother Shiloh Strong on his blog and I recognized him
And Stee was like “WTF, how do you know his BROTHER?”
me: I would, too! Weird curly black hair!
I remember my sister had a pinup poster of him and he was, like, meditating or some nonsense!
me: I was going to mention the brother but was like “eh, nobody thinks I’m sane, anyway.
Stephanie: This is whaat I sent Stee when this all went down: “You must’ve missed early 90’s Tiger Beat. They were all over my jr. high locker. I’M SCREAMING LIKE A JOBROS FAN OVER HERE
me: Clearly you were not a lonely adolescent girl with strange hair, Stee.
me: I just told both of my bosses. One is Canadian, and she said “Rider Strong is from Canada!”
WE ARE MAKING ST. LOUIS’ DAY
me: OMG, one more thing….
Now that I am 3 degrees of separation from Rider Strong and 4 from Danielle Fishel, I am ALSO 4 from Matthew Lawrence, who I once wanted to marry.
CHILDHOOD DREAM partially REALIZED!
Justin pointed out the other day that I say “I used to be in love with him” during basically everything we watch
HORMONES Y’ALL. HORMONES
But regarding M.L: I used to be in love with him.
And rider strong. And the older brother. And probably topanga during a weird week
Everyone who appeared on a screen from 1992 – 1997
I wonder what Matthew Lawrence’s eyebrows look like now?
* Posting above Internet Conversation may be some breach of Internet etiquette considering I didn’t ask Stephanie’s permission to reproduce it, but she’s really funny in it and I took out all the parts where we weren’t at all entertaining…even to me, and I am easily entertained.