Category Archives: Seattle

Mystery Fireworks Jesus

By posting this, I hope that, thanks to the magic of the Internet, the person responsible for last night’s fireworks display at the Ballard Community Center ball field will be to see the following message: THANK YOU, MYSTERY FIREWORKS JESUS! … Continue reading

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Where the Livin’ Is Easy Enough

I got my first sunburn of the year this weekend. Probably my first one since last year’s, and last year’s was the first one since the year before that. What I’m saying is that I hardly ever get sunburned, but … Continue reading

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The Last Time I Get to Write About Moving

I can hear you all clapping, by the way. As I mentioned the other day, we’re all moved into our new place. The furniture has been assembled, all of the boxes have been unpacked, and the only thing left to … Continue reading

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The Bro-ening of Fremont

Every time I worry about the comparative sleepiness of our new neighborhood in Ballard, I force myself to remember a few things: 1. While our place is located in a sleepy-ish area, we’re not that far away from the main … Continue reading

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The Attack of Garbage Mouth, Part 2

I realized that it’s been a few days since I last posted anything here, but I hadn’t noticed before because I CAN EAT SOLID FOOD AGAIN and that’s all I really care about. It’s not a big deal to some … Continue reading

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To Love an Appliance

Now that our lease is signed and there’s a date on the move, I’ve begun gearing up for exactly how all of this works. I’ve already hired movers for the actual date, but everything that comes before that – from … Continue reading

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At One Time I Knew Way Too Much About Astrology and Not Enough About Nabokov

There aren’t that many great things about not drinking very much anymore (it’s fine if you’re not drinking because of a problem with drinking, but if you’re like me and are simply trying to not be fat then not drinking … Continue reading

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Future Ballardeers

I’ve been logging my weight loss progress for almost a month and a half now, and already, I’m seeing progress. My clothes fit looser. My profile in the mirror isn’t as upsetting. In some photos, my jawline is more defined. … Continue reading

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*Shakes Fist*

This was me a few days ago: While maybe 70% of what I post on Twitter is braggarty bullshit, this one was true. My neighbors are having a party tonight. And if I am home for any part of it … Continue reading

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A Love Letter to Rat City

I booked a flight home to St. Louis the other day. I hadn’t planned on visiting, but my sister mentioned that if I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t see my nephew for an entire year. And because he’s already at the … Continue reading

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