Category Archives: Letters to My Younger Self

Welcome

When I was younger, I never dreamed about hosting dinner parties. Keep in mind that this was in the time before the Food Network, before food and wine magazines were glossy jerk-off rags (and I mean that in the best … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Letters to My Younger Self | 2 Comments

Changes

You know how when you’re younger and everybody older than you tells you that you’ll be a whole different person when you grow up, and you scoff and secretly think they don’t know anything because of course you’ll be the … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, Stuff I Didn't Know Before | 5 Comments

Before the Packing Comes the Existential Time Travel

Sometimes (ahem usually when I’m flipping through the premium channels that Graham still hasn’t cancelled even though he’s been threatening to for like a year) I like to pause for a moment and imagine how awesome it would be if … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self | 1 Comment

Back For Good

It’s a widely known fact that, given access to a time machine, everyone’s first responsibility is to go back in time and kill Hitler. Obviously it’s scary and yes it will change the course of history in ways we can’t … Continue reading

Posted in I Hate, Letters to My Younger Self, Playlists, The Pop Life | 1 Comment

My Paranormal Life

A coworker of mine just returned from a vacation in L.A., where she took a ghost hunting tour of the Queen Mary. The Queen Mary is this really cool historic ocean liner docked in Long Beach. It has restaurants, bars, … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, Stuff I Didn't Know Before, The Pop Life, WTF

Look Robin Look

When we first moved into this house, we signed up for a cable/Internet/home phone package that included premium channels because Charter is a maelstrom of bullshit that makes no fucking sense and only makes packages cheaper if they include HBO … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, The Pop Life, Writing | 9 Comments

The Liberty of Not Caring

A couple of weeks ago, a friend told me the name of someone who doesn’t like me. My friend wasn’t trying to hurt me and it came up completely organically, and really, once the subject was mentioned, I’m the one … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't, Letters to My Younger Self, Stuff I Didn't Know Before | 5 Comments

Office Stuff?

Because I was born in post-feminist America,* I was never taught that girls were not allowed to have any careers other than the below: Teacher Nurse Stewardess Secretary Housewife Ha, I’m just kidding. Housewife isn’t a career. It’s work, but … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, Paychecks Are Important | 2 Comments

Everything Is Bullshit! Nothing Is Real!

Last month, a 14-year-old girl delivered a 7,000-signature strong petition asking Seventeen Magazine to publish one non-Photoshopped spread a month. If you were once 14 and have not yet completely destroyed your brain cells with alcohol and other substances, you … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, The Pop Life

It’s Okay If You Don’t Like Dick

If you’ve been reading this for any considerable length of time, you’ll know that while I typically don’t make or post New Year’s resolutions, one year – and I can’t even remember what year it was, though possibly it was … Continue reading

Posted in Bookish, I Just Can't, Letters to My Younger Self, Stuff I Didn't Know Before | 5 Comments