Category Archives: I Just Can’t

Toiling in the Land of Vocal Fry

Vocal fry: the lowest vocal register…produced through a loose glottal closure which will permit air to bubble through slowly with a popping or rattling sound of a very low frequency. (from Wikipedia) Also: a low, scratchy sound that occupies the … Continue reading

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What St. Louis Means for People Who Have Suddenly Decided to Care

I’m still struggling to get used to my new schedule. While I don’t have trouble actually waking up, it is difficult to get home from work and feel like doing anything other than sleeping, which could explain why I’ve cooked … Continue reading

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It Never Hurts to Check Your Privilege

Although there were many things I didn’t like about my old job, one of the things I was pretty happy about was my schedule. After about a year of dragging my old bones out of bed before sunrise and feeling … Continue reading

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There Is No Way Back

I think about this song a lot. Not because it’s Tom Waits (who is the greatest artist in the world) or because it always makes me cry (even though it does) or because it is masterfully haunting, compassionate, and condemning … Continue reading

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The Pinterest of Sex

Like most of the Internet, I recently watched the trailer for 50 Shades of Grey. I read the book, too, back when it first came out and some women I worked with pressed it on me. “You’ll love it,” they … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't, The Pop Life, WTF | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

The Problem With Retention

A lot of people I follow on the Internet have been posting the audio of the call made by a man named Ryan Block to cancel his Comcast service. The call is supposed to be hilarious and awkward as the … Continue reading

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Just Desserts

(Not about cake. Sorry.) A few years ago, the New York Times ran a piece about which drivers are more detrimental to traffic – the speeder-uppers or the wait-and-seers. Or some names like that. I don’t remember exactly and I … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't | 3 Comments

Puke Surprise

I’m sure there are plenty of ways to feel awake and energized in the morning, but for me, nothing compares to stepping in and then cleaning up a fresh pile of cat puke. I dunno, there’s just something about the … Continue reading

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A Little Bit Braindead

We recently got cable after having just Internet for a couple of years, and I’m slowly easing back into it. Maybe I’d enjoy it faster if I didn’t spend weeknights cooking and getting stuff done; as it stands, I have … Continue reading

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I Don’t Care About Your Dick

Here’s the thing about unsolicited dick pics: (Oh, I’ve got buckets of Goldblum reaction photos, so just try me. At least three other candidates for disgust, this one just happened to have the right amount of “really?” in it.) I … Continue reading

Posted in I Just Can't, WTF | Tagged , , | 1 Comment