Monthly Archives: March 2014

Boom, That’s Spaghetti

The thing about not spending money on alcohol or going out to places where other people spend money on alcohol is that eventually, you forget what it’s like, meaning you forget what it’s like to be surrounded by drunks who … Continue reading

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Shit Robot

Do you remember when you realized that everyone’s house had its own smell, and that in addition to your family’s houses and your friends’ houses and the houses of people you didn’t really know, that must mean that your house … Continue reading

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Sick Burn

Spring has sprung in Seattle, and although we all know that it’s a false spring and there’s at least another couple of weeks of dreary rain and fog lurking somewhere before June, it’s impossible to resist the chance to soak … Continue reading

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HUSTLE

I started watching Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee a couple of months ago. It’s one of those things that was on my to-watch list for a long time, so long that I’d mostly forgotten about it, and then one day … Continue reading

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What My Grandmother Can Tell You

I used to work for a corporation. A gigantic, obscenely rich, well-known multinational conglomerate, actually, and at said conglomerate, the employees wore jeans. Every day. The idea was that no one was ever really in any make-or-break-the-business meetings with anyone, … Continue reading

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Le Muhnew

Like most people who work a standard weekday daytime job, my favorite part of the week is when I leave work on Friday evening, because I know that’s when I have the most amount of time left before I have … Continue reading

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Fuckin’ Laser

It’s been almost a week since Justin and Stephanie left Seattle, and I feel like I’m just now recovering. When I returned to work on Monday, my boss – a Seattle native – asked what we’d done for the past … Continue reading

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What We Can Learn About Privacy

I follow a porn star on Instagram. Not because I’m into porn – I mean, I’m not not into porn, I’m just not into it more than your average person, like, I don’t know a bunch of porn stars’ names … Continue reading

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The St. Louis Invasion

From the time I woke up to the time I left work yesterday, I was super excited, with enough endorphins in my brain to make the bullshittiest work bullshit kind of lurk off to murmur in the background. I was … Continue reading

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Sleeptweet

Months and months and maybe even early last year ago, I posted something on Twitter about how I’d never taken Ambien but was interested in what would happen if I did, and by that I mean I’d “do” Ambien instead … Continue reading

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