Monthly Archives: July 2011

She’s Touching My Special Area

If for some ridiculous reason you plan on visiting St. Louis in the summer, here’s some advice you would do well to heed: 1. Don’t go outside. Ever. Especially if you have asthma, a heart condition, or enjoy looking as … Continue reading

Posted in I Hate, I Just Can't | 1 Comment

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Sub

“If you ain’t on the Infamation Superhighway, baby, then whey is you?” — Coolio, to MTV sometime around 1995 and below, around the :50 mark. Kurt Loder was right. At least, he was right back then. In 1995, the Internet … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Letters to My Younger Self, Nerd It Up, WTF | 4 Comments

Consider Me Miles Davis

Earlier today, I was telling Katie about this video of the Juggalo Gathering that I sometimes watch when I’ve had a really bad day at work. You’d think that the general themes of stupidity, filth, and terrible music would make … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Pop Life, WTF

Never Not Ever

I saw somebody’s boobs the other night. I didn’t mean to; boobs don’t really do anything for me, erotically-speaking, and if I really want to see them for some reason, uhm, hello, I have a pretty amazing rack myself and … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Just Can't, Stuff I Didn't Know Before, The Zombie Apocalypse, WTF | 6 Comments

Now, Children

Last night, Katie, Dave, and I went out to celebrate the fact that someone new on the Internet hates me.  Hate mail fills me with genuine glee, which I know sounds like a weird reaction but I do have reasons: … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Little Corner of Moron, The Pop Life, Writing, WTF | 4 Comments

Surely Not

Minutes after the news broke about Amy Winehouse being found dead, I tweeted: “It’s probably classier to be found dead in a London flat than in an American apartment.” For the next five minutes, I watched other tweets appear in … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Internet is My Boyfriend, The Pop Life, WTF | 7 Comments

The Dumbass Majority

A psychic once told my mom that I would be married three times. She told my mom this while I was married the first (and only) time. When she called to tell me about it, I already knew that I … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Hate, I Just Can't, Paychecks Are Important