Monthly Archives: July 2011

She’s Touching My Special Area

If for some ridiculous reason you plan on visiting St. Louis in the summer, here’s some advice you would do well to heed: 1. Don’t go outside. Ever. Especially if you have asthma, a heart condition, or enjoy looking as … Continue reading

Posted in I Hate, I Just Can't | 1 Comment

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Sub

“If you ain’t on the Infamation Superhighway, baby, then whey is you?” — Coolio, to MTV sometime around 1995 and below, around the :50 mark. Kurt Loder was right. At least, he was right back then. In 1995, the Internet … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Letters to My Younger Self, Nerd It Up, WTF | 4 Comments

Consider Me Miles Davis

Earlier today, I was telling Katie about this video of the Juggalo Gathering that I sometimes watch when I’ve had a really bad day at work. You’d think that the general themes of stupidity, filth, and terrible music would make … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Pop Life, WTF

Never Not Ever

I saw somebody’s boobs the other night. I didn’t mean to; boobs don’t really do anything for me, erotically-speaking, and if I really want to see them for some reason, uhm, hello, I have a pretty amazing rack myself and … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Just Can't, Stuff I Didn't Know Before, The Zombie Apocalypse, WTF | 6 Comments

Now, Children

Last night, Katie, Dave, and I went out to celebrate the fact that someone new on the Internet hates me.  Hate mail fills me with genuine glee, which I know sounds like a weird reaction but I do have reasons: … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Little Corner of Moron, The Pop Life, Writing, WTF | 4 Comments

Surely Not

Minutes after the news broke about Amy Winehouse being found dead, I tweeted: “It’s probably classier to be found dead in a London flat than in an American apartment.” For the next five minutes, I watched other tweets appear in … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, Playlists, The Internet is My Boyfriend, The Pop Life, WTF | 7 Comments

The Dumbass Majority

A psychic once told my mom that I would be married three times. She told my mom this while I was married the first (and only) time. When she called to tell me about it, I already knew that I … Continue reading

Posted in Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Hate, I Just Can't, Paychecks Are Important

Ink in the Workplace

It is 100 fucking degrees out today. For real, 100 degrees. The thermometer that came with my apartment says so. This isn’t surprising since it’s St. Louis in the summer, but it sure is depressing. Yesterday it was 102 degrees … Continue reading

Posted in Adventures in Bartending, I Eat, I Just Can't, Paychecks Are Important, WTF

I Am a Damn Fine American

There’s a part in Field of Dreams that always makes me cry. Sports movies do this to me. I know I’m supposed to cry at movies where women die of cancer on the same day or something, but I usually … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Nerd It Up, The Pop Life | 1 Comment

Like Magic

I went to the tattoo shop yesterday for a consultation on my 3/4 sleeve*, and the above was on the wall. Not many people would think that a tattoo shop at Jefferson and Broadway would be full of dudes with … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Bookish, Nerd It Up, The Pop Life, Writing