Monthly Archives: November 2009

Girl Can’t Help It

All right.  I have let this go on for long enough, but now that opening weekend has come and gone, we have a new rule. Could everyone please STFU about Twilight.*  Please. I understand that we all need some junk … Continue reading

Posted in The Pop Life, WTF

You Likea Da Juice?

A girl walks into a bar (don’t ask me why it’s a girl, it’s always a girl). Me: Hey, what can I get you? Her: Vodka and cranberry. Me: Sure thing. <goes to make drink, is delayed by Her reaching … Continue reading

Posted in Adventures in Bartending, Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Just Can't

Total Attack of the Ass

I hadn’t felt like writing today, but last night (when I WASN’T EVEN DRUNK), I fell down the stairs at Graham’s house and bruised my ass bone.  This happened a few years ago, also at Graham’s house, albeit a different … Continue reading

Posted in Adventures in Bartending, The Pop Life, WTF

Old Pole Gripper

Latest dispatch from the Little Corner of Moron.  We’d been talking about how stores who put Christmas decorations up before Halloween are the suck, and how anyone who puts up Christmas lights before Thanksgiving is an idiot.  Also, Fiala hates … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Little Corner of Moron

Germans DO Love David Hasselhoff

Idiots are bad.  Idiots who think they are brilliant are worse.  Idiots who think they are brilliant and also roam around looking for fights are dangerous. I can always tell, you know?  It’s not just because my bar has a … Continue reading

Posted in Adventures in Bartending, Everyone Else Is An Idiot, I Hate, WTF

Little Black Book

Everyone wants to be Lloyd Dobler. Okay, maybe not everyone wants to stand in a suburban driveway holding an 18-pound mid-1980s boombox over their heads (although I would kind of really like one of those boomboxes for my house), but … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Letters to My Younger Self, The Pop Life

Dear Kate Moss

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels,” huh?  You are full of shit. Possibly also blow.  And almost certainly vodka.  But definitely no food. PS – If you weren’t so hungry, maybe you wouldn’t have to chew on your bony-ass … Continue reading

Posted in I Hate, I Just Can't, The Pop Life, WTF