Monthly Archives: September 2009

1200 Square Feet of Solitude

My friend Jenni had a kid yesterday!  All his names sound like a law firm and he’s not gigantic like his father! Also…. Graham moved out today.  Don’t get too excited, stalkers, it’s not like we broke up or anything.  … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized

Teh Kyoot

(That’s right, I wrote in lulz.  I can’t always say the f-word, you know.) You know what you should do after a rough day?  Sit down at your laptop and image Google “bunny.”  Possibly “cute bunny,” depending on your day.  … Continue reading

Posted in I Heart, Nerd It Up

I Am Not a Stoner

I was probably six years old when my parents and I had a conversation about space exploration at the dinner table.  I think I had seen something on the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour (sponsored by Laclede Gas, aired after the afternoon … Continue reading

Posted in Nerd It Up, WTF

Junkwagon

Thing about my car: it’s gross.  I drive a 1997 Chevy Lumina.  Maroon inside, maroon outside.  Sometimes, on my bad days, I liken it to driving around in a huge maxipad.  There are rust spots on the hood that I … Continue reading

Posted in Little Corner of Moron

15 x 2

I have this thing about people who don’t read, and by “thing” I mean “seething animosity.”  It’s intellectually vain and, one could claim, even a little classist,* but for me, dealing with people who read is a hell of a … Continue reading

Posted in Bookish, I Heart, Writing

Ramses Pox Vs. Humungo

I have a thing in my eye.  I don’t know what it is.  I can’t see it.  I can’t touch it with my finger, like, to dig it out or anything.  All I can do is feel it on my … Continue reading

Posted in Little Corner of Moron

Genius Is Not a Generous Thing

You know those people who cry and write to People Magazine when a celebrity dies?  Yeah, that’s not me.  But when someone cool dies, when it seems like another member of Your Team dies, then it’s just a suck.  I … Continue reading

Posted in Art, Bookish, I Heart, Sads, Writing

Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers to the Right

An old friend from high school came into the bar the other night.  I haven’t seen for her nine years (“Nine years!  NINE YEARS, ERIN!” she said) but we’ve recently made Facebook friends.  We’d both heard bits and pieces about … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, WTF

Yes, This Is Horrible, This Idea

I went to a meeting today where someone actually suggested a Hawaiian Shirt Day to boost morale.  I know I just got back to this company, but jesus christ.  This is exactly the kind of thing I was happiest to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized

Where Have You Gone, Joe DiMaggio?

When I was 16, I thought I knew everything.  Or course I did.  It’s the 16-year-old’s disease.  I knew more than my teachers, I definitely knew more than my parents, and I knew more than all the smartass adults who, … Continue reading

Posted in Letters to My Younger Self, Stuff I Didn't Know Before, The Pop Life, WTF